It's been a minute.
It's been a minute since I have allowed myself to feel, allowed myself to see, I still have work to do.
I've realized my actions, or lack of, have caused issues for my future self, but also; for my sweet boy. He's angry, he's frustrated, and overwhelmed because my anxiety, has also become his.
I have cancelled so many plans, changed so many decisions, it's left my sweet little man isolated and confused. He absorbs energy, he absorbs emotion and he will make it his own.
This isn't the impression I wanted to leave on him. This isn't how I wanted my son to feel. I've felt like I've been at a stand still with him, wondering if he's been acting out just because he wants the attention; but he apologizes for his emotions.
He apologizes for being upset, for needing extra love and kindness, and he shouldn't ever feel the need to do that. He needs to be able to freely feel, to be himself, to be proud of his sensitive nature and his profound love for people.
Sometimes it takes starting over, and doing things the right way. Not looking for an end result. Not looking for a deadline, but just starting fresh and embracing the process it takes to heal. ❤️🩹
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